you're a mystery yourself
its a friday and im in hall now waiting for my dad to send me home. it has been a brilliant week in school and in hall but i still miss home.
school has been busy as usual due to the nature of my course. well at least the course is getting more interesting, i'm doing tcm diagnostics this semester learning the different kinds of diagnostic methods like diagnosis by asking, by looking and observing, by hearing, by smelling, by pulsation. interesting.
so what happened the whole of this week at school? the highlight is mainly the hall welcome dinner and the short lunch meetups with my friends. =) anyway, school elections are round the corner and its quite worrying to see that the top few postitions are still not taken yet and i dont wanna take it up because im pressurized to do so. my workload is gonna be heavy, my focus for this sem would be my studies and i've made up my mind a long while ago. well, we'll see how it goes la.
my brain is quite dead now. and i'm sleepy.
byee world. =D much much loves.
&the beauty.
showdowned yesterday.
after showdown. met jj for dinner at sakae. then went to chill out at the fountain of wealth and walk around a little. well, yesterday i was still feeling okay,perhaps, it could be that the feeling havent sink in yet. Just give me a few more days, i'd probably be affected by it.
went for brunch with orang utan today at ichiban sushi. i had sushi for 2 meals consecutively. great. had a good chat and meal. after that went out with my sac darlings to celebrate sy's bday. went for a thrilling ice skate and then headed to sushi tei for dinner. goodness, 3 sushi meals within 2 days. i think i can be a food critic for sushis soon. then went for retail therapy. i tell u, i have been shopping like mad, i think the phrase "shop till u drop" is very apt to my shopping attitude. and with my new credit card, it isn't doing any good to my "try to shop less" goal. well, nevermind, at least i feel happy. a much needed way to getting my mind off for awhile. i definitely had a great time today, with the greatest companions i can ever find.
being single for 9 months has made me a different kind of gf that i normally am? i'm still pondering over this due to my supposedly lack of care love and concern in the latest r/s that i was in. was it really entirely due to my independence, my busy-ness? i dont know. but one thing for sure i know is that,though i may not have given in my best to this one; due to my lack of time and being caught up with too many things like FOCs, but i have love him all along. from the start, when we just got together and when i was at mt k, i was so excited about coming back to singapore, being able to hold his hands, spend time together, do everything under the sun together. that was the kinda feeling that i was experiencing when i was in kinabalu. and sadly, just a few days later, some things just have to happen to turn this whole happy,i wanna go out with u and have fun with u feeling into one that is "urgh, maybe not. why are u doubting me bcos of some issue" i hate it most when people doubt me and listen to everyone else except me. i feel hurt. utterly hurt and disappointed. it may seem that i have gotten over this issue, but it hasnt. when i get affected by such situations. it takes time, alot of time for me to get over it. maybe if we have the patience, things might be better.
instead of things getting better, things turned sour-er and sour-er. lack of time, more of worldly friends comments. somehow it feels like the world has come between us, our lives have come between us and we both fell apart. thats in summary. its quite sad. i keep reminding myself this could be the start of something big. somehow i know when i dont have a firm and stable bf, the whole r/s will just topple and fall. and this was how it fell.
i'll get over it.
&the beauty.
had hall fright night recce today. it took place at the old changi hospital. the place is quite cool but quite spooky too. thank goodness i didnt see anything. well at least, its a new experience gained for me. and guess what, i've become a GL instead of an SA for hall camp. how great. more commitments required.
well, there's certain things in life im quite unhappy and disgusted. there's so many ways to learn about my past, first through me, second through my friends. if u choose the latter, what makes u think its more accurate than getting info from me straight? honestly, i'm so freaking tired of a relationship, i might just decide to give up this one too. its sad, i'm adding to the numbers, not that i want to, but rather, i've overestimated him. not like my previous relationships, i would get to know the person better then get together. but this wasnt the case for this particular one, maybe its because of the long absence or something else that i've been trying to figure out.
being in a relationship is definitely not easy. when i was young, i always wanted a boyfriend thats one and only. being young and naive, i have dreams like fairytale always wishing that i would lead a good life, get married to a prince charming and live in a place like alice in wonderland. when i grew up, i knew this was all just naive and idealistic thinking and this would never happen. then my perception of relationship begin to change when i gotten my first one. happy at the start, sad at the end. well, at least a lesson learnt. then a second. most memorable definitely. best friend then boyfriend. due to my stupidity and lack of "cherishness" things turned sour, another lesson learnt. then the third. this one, not worth talking about..then the forth. lets wait and see.
tired. im exhausted from camp from everything. im glad im going off next week. i need the break badly. thank god. phew.
&the beauty.
my heart is taken.
and therefore i can't accept anymore.
argh. sorry if i'm a heartbreaker.
&the beauty.
can someone tell me why am i feeling so tired and lazy these few days.
once i wake up, i feel like sleeping. am i turning into a sloth? aaaahhhh!
anyway, i think i'm being cruel to my body. i work each day and night like clockwork. i've been catching up with my friends, working, going for lessons and courses. and tmr i have to conduct another course again at hillgrove sec. presentation skills. and i have to do up some school's pri 6 leadership camp slides and handouts by tonight. this is killing me. i swear. plus i need to practise my piano, my new piano teacher isn't exactly very patient, she made me repeat the same line for close to 20 times? her expectations for me are higher than mine towards myself. she said i have the fire. yar if the fire dies out? good game.
i can hardly even open my eyes now even though its only 1pm. and i still have a whole day worth of activities; basketball and then movie. i wanna sleep sleep sleep. i'm really becoming a sloth. crap.
why am i ranting so much.
&the beauty.
was woken up early today by zhen de lame person.
well, havent had much sleep for the past few nights cos there was a few things on my minds that keeps me thinking.
yesterday. went for a good climb with yanpeng, nat and kaili. its been ages since i last climbed and my standard has dropped quite alot. and now i have aching fingers, limb and body. ahhhhh!
oh and i realised, i haven't really blogged properly since the 13 of march?
as some may ask, how are my holidays going so far? hmmmm, it is good? or well, satisfying at least for myself. Well, i'm not like any others, fervently looking for a job. my aim for this 3 months break is to do as much of the things that i wanna do and not able to do when school starts. as i believe that earning money is not about everything, but as long as i have enough to pull me through my courses and my daily expenses, its enough. why work so much when u have a lifetime more to work even harder and may not even have the time to do whatever u wanna do. so, my advice, chill and enjoy your youth. wheee. =)
and as my friends may know, i'm single but not available. well, not that i'm shutting my doors close, but rather, i'm sitting back, looking from a greater perspective, learning the hard lessons from my past few relationships. well, i don't believe rushing into anything, especially relationships. we have all the time in the world, if its really meant to be, it will eventually be. and i have to admit, despite everything, i'm in love again.
okay, i'll end here, got to go for my swim! =D
we'll meet once again, pretty soon.
goodbye world.
&the beauty.
i slept at 4am, woke up at 8am.
it was too too cold, i almost turned into a block of ice.
&the beauty.
